It appeared to me that FB Guy was hurting, and that the way he knew how to cope with that was to try to control someone else. The way he decided to approach me, a complete stranger, was wholly unacceptable. In my world, you do not name-call people you want a “conversation” with. In truth, I never excluded him. He was one of a long line of people who decided to take their shit out on me. This is a fact of life I understand but have yet to be able to accept.
I am sorry that he was hurt. I am sorry that he’s the product of a Hammurabian society that tells him that it’s okay that he treats perfect strangers with disrespect as long as he thinks he’s being disrespected. I am also sorry that so many people believe that people of color are edification objects, because that is what society has told them.
One of the many things I fail to understand about this interaction is the way that he just assumed that I would continue responding to him. Another thing I don’t understand is how my initial lack of response seemed to be a response to him–as if he really believed I had nothing better to do than shun or accept strangers on the Internet.
There are things I think I may never understand about this interaction. The things I do understand–the perfect encapsulation of micro-colonization, sexism, patriarchy, and white guilt–are only unique here in the obviousness of their combination.