As many people in my office have been discussing Thanksgiving plans, I feel grateful that more people have not asked me about mine. Even if Thanksgiving was a holiday I enjoyed, this year would still be different. It’s our first year without Dad.
But I never much cared for Thanksgiving, which I associate with a day’s worth of work for food I don’t much favor and a feeling of displacement that only deepened once I learned about colonization. I can’t adequately describe these things to acquaintances, and feel as if I am letting down the listener even when I just smile and say that I’m not doing anything.
This year something that feels like a flu, a new job, about 700 miles, and the after effects of life without Dad have combined to make it so that I am simply too tired to care about a holiday I never felt comfortable with. I am very glad that no one has offered to host us so that I am spared the impoliteness of refusal.
You could even say that I’m grateful.
But of the many things I have and am grateful for, that would be nearly insignificant.