I have a difficult time letting go. I’d rather be free of my unwanted baggage, so I’ve been working on learning how to slough off what is harmful to have around. This process has been confusing and arduous. Even as I want to be someone unshackled by slights and hurts both perceived and real, I also know that some things must be experienced before they can be passed by.
I am still hurt by my last day at my previous job. I did not know that adults in positions of authority could be so callous, and I had hoped that they wouldn’t be so insensitive and selfish. But now I know better. In truth, I have not been empathetic to my former manager. I understand why she said what she said. I understand she was under a lot of pressure and that I had embarrassed her by being someone she had to work to understand when she may have never had the capacity to do such work. But I continue to feel nothing but puzzled and hurt by her words. Perhaps one day my feelings in regards to this situation will extend beyond myself. Maybe the best I can hope for is for this incident to become a distant pinpoint in life’s landscape.
Right now, I simply don’t know, which really feels like more than enough.