This weekend was difficult. The thing that strikes me about grief is the way it can well up unexpectedly in a variety of forms. I had thought it would be more straightforward. In many ways it doesn’t feel very different from depression. I have been tired, angry, uninterested, and lethargic in turns. Both grief and depression seem senseless. In a way, that is part of why I have been thankful for this new job. It offered a fresh start. I like going and just being who I am in that moment. It still tires me but it’s a welcome change.
Thanks for daylight savings, everything looked different this morning. Previously my commute had been largely in the dark. This morning I felt like I could see everything. I sense a metaphor in this, but even if I could articulate it, it seems lazy and a bit untrue right now at best.