Today felt good. Instead of going in to work and giving what I clearly don’t have to give, I stayed home. I cleaned out my closet, and finally started straightening up after what has essentially been a month-long hiatus from housework. I packed for Dad’s memorial, and am really looking forward to wearing something other than all black.
Wearing all black during this time between his death and the official memorial felt like the right thing to do. It was a sign of respect, a sign of loss, and a warning. On Saturday it will be over with an ivory sweater and a blush, floral-print skirt. I have questioned whether this is appropriate garb for a memorial, but quickly reach the conclusion that it is always appropriate to be true to one’s self–especially when one’s self is well-dressed.
Doing things this way has given me something to look forward to on what promises to be a challenging day. Even as I continue to take issue with many elements of fashion, I am grateful for the small amount of control and expression that making these small choices has been able to restore.