We continue to soldier on the best way we know how. Every moment is unique in our new lives without Dad. We get less done than we intend and it makes us more tired than it used to, but we go on nonetheless.
I vacillate between faith-full gratitude and irritated impatience. They are the infinity loop I run to keep pace with life. I feel everything and nothing, and sometimes that makes me feel tired.
But I don’t feel alone. I feel very connected–to the people who stop by, to the people who bring food, to my family, to my dad. I feel like the best version of who he was is here. I am confident in my ability to find gratitude and I respect my boundaries and give weight to the feelings I used to ignore or judge as too harsh. And just as often as I feel tired, I feel peace.